me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
