i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize