The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Congratulations! We have a period
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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