i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
