i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i now understand why vodka
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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