just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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