The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
