4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just pynch a tree in the face
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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