so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
