no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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