Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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