What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
