I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
