but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
