Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
