i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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