This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
