clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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