i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
worst night to have a conscience
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
