he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
