I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
