I am puke
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
