his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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