New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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