How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
