If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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