Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
that may or may not have been my penis.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
