Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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