I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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