the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
