this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
