Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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