i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
