Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I am mentally ready for anal.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
