U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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