my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
