My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize