If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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