Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
