I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
my poor anus
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
