and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
