WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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