with your own penis?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
