Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
