What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
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