Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
