I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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