Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
