how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
