It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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