the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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