Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
