we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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