why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
