Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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