Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
