just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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